Agent DVD took Agent Triple P out for an enjoyable dinner last night. We had not seen each other for some time as Triple P has been in Istanbul and Agent DVD has been in the Pyrénées Orientales, in France. One topic which came up was the fact that he had missed the news about Scarlett Johansson's mobile phone being hacked and nude self-portraits of her being stolen.
Not surprisingly, Miss Johansson is very upset about this invasion of privacy but, fortunately for the rest of us, the pictures concerned are fabulous. Or, rather, one of them is. The one of her bust, nice though it is, is just a conventional view of a pretty, topless girl with that strange, dominating arm that mobile phone self portraits always have.
The one at the top of this post is, however, a minor masterpiece, however inadvertant. Miss Johansson's glacially beautiful face dominates the right hand third of the picture. The left hand third is blank giving the composition an uncrowded sense of space. The centre of the triptych contains a wonderful rear view of the actress; all the more senuously revealing because of the swathe of material that she appears to be emerging from, like a butterfly from a chrysalis. Concealing her front revealing her rear. The camera arm, in this mirror shot, is unobtrusive and by following her eyeline you are brought directly to that perfect posterior. It is, appropriately, rather like a seventeenth century Dutch interior in its formal composition. The limited colour palette is remiscent of the cool pastel-shaded interior nudes by Danish artist Vilhelm Hammershøi.
So if you are going to end up with a nude picture of yourself leaking onto the internet at least this one is a splendid picture which makes you look wonderful rather than some unflattering photo that could damage your image.
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Twenty-first century venuses
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